Value your tribe

by Debs Jewell @jewellsjournal   Image: The Tree of Life - by Gustav Klimt, 19005

 

We bandy about the term ‘It’s okay to not be okay’, heck I’ve thrown it out there into the world myself, and with the best intentions. But … is it?  Is it really okay to not be okay?

 And if we believe it to be true … do we believe it to be true for ourselves?

I think that if we truly want to connect with others then we need to figure out how to connect with ourselves and others honestly. At times that will mean admitting ‘I’m not OK’.

It is also about recognising in these times, that there will be friends (often the ones you least expect) in your life that will walk alongside you when you need them and there will be others who won’t. However (and I feel strongly about this point) contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t make those who don’t show up in your time of need any less of a friend or that they don’t care about you or one of the million other reasons we conjure up for what we perceive as their rejection.

It simply means they were unavailable or unable to show up at that time. It may mean they’re placed in your life for a different purpose. Maybe to challenge you, maybe to make you laugh at or do outrageous things, maybe they're the ones who push you out of your comfort zone or it may be because they need someone like you to love them even when they cannot love you back. Their purpose in your life may be for lifetime or only for a season. And honestly, that is just fine too. We cannot be all things to all people and it is unfair of us to expect our friends to be all things at all times to us.

Love without expectations, people, truly a hard thing to do but oh the freedom when you can!

Hard times often define friendships. Whether or not friendships survive the challenges life throws at them, there is always something to be learnt from our relationships with others and learning is always a good thing … even if it feels pretty awful at the time!

Frederick Buechner in ‘Telling Secrets’ says nothing is more important

'than that we keep track, you and I, of who we are and where we have come from and the people we have met along the way because it is precisely through these stories, in all their particularity, that God makes Himself known most powerfully and personally.'

I guess what I am trying to say is: always see the value in your tribe, know that some will stay and others will move on but each one will leave a different colour in your life tapestry and that, my friends, is what makes this life a beautiful thing.

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